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Day 10 - My Best Friend

I don't have one, really.
I've never had one.
And I've longed for one for the longest of times.

I'm the girl who walks alone.

Sure, I keep a lot of friends.
But I realized, I can only tell how I feel about people. 
Not about how people feel about me.
So, I could call you my friend, maybe even think we're getting really close, maybe even try to get real real close, and then...boom.
You drop the boulder that'll crack my heart open.

I really don't do well by emotional heart wrenches, especially those coming from people I love or highly value.
It's true I come through it looking all sunny like Jesus just died for me, but I know better than to set myself up for heartaches.

I've kidded myself on having a best friend.
Twice.
The first is still one of my girlfriends today, the other is my ex.

These days, I just flow with everyone.
Of course, I know to define my boundaries and all, but I don't obsess over having a best friend.

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
Life goes on. With or without.

I used to worry about getting real close to people and maybe overwhelming them (I'll explain what I mean sometime later) with my "complexity".

But right now, I don't have a care in the world for nothing.

Imma just shine, and maybe a "best friend" will come to my light?
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